4/40 Days of Blogging, Lent 2009

Short and sweet... Enjoy!

3/40 Days of Blogging, Lent 2009

I love my Mommies!

Let me explain, about a year ago I was just starting to read blogs, searching all over the web for new and interesting reads. One evening after an hour or so of "playing" on line, I cam across the blog of a woman asking for prayers for her dear friend who had just given birth to still born twin boys, James and Jake.

I NEEDED to read more... over the next few days and then weeks my heart grew to love this mother, this stranger who had her future changed with the loss of two heartbeats. Beth is a hero to me. Her words have been raw and full of honesty. She used her blog to speak her truth, she bore her soul for us all to hold. Hundreds of readers all over the US and the world sent prayers and wishes of peace for this sweet young family. Beth is such an amazing writer, designer, and photographer. She is a loving mother and devoted wife who is trying to find a new normal. Last year her family and friends joined together to walk with the March of Dimes to raise money so that other babies born early may have a chance at life. This year, they are again walking for Kids and if you feel in the giving mood, please donate to Team James & Jake.

After reading about Beth and her story, I seemed to find other blogs full of painful honesty, deep faith and a longing to return to their life before loss. Below I will link you to some of my "favorite" Mommy blogs... These stories have moved me in a way only another mother can.

I worn you in advance, these sites are real life, read families and real heartache. You will cry, your heart will break and be put back together, and you may find yourself praying more as you find a deeper appreciation for your own blessings.

Beth @ I Should be Folding Laundry
Angie @ Bring the Rain
The Sponberg's @ Light your World
The Macs @ The Macs
Mar & Dan @ Reagan is our Joy
Melissa @ Our Boys

2/40 Days of Blogging, Lent 2009

Welcome to day 2 of my 40 posts. I think I need to introduce myself...

My name is Barbara... On the surface I am a wife of 5 years, mother of a 4 year old daughter, Beaker and Jack Jack who is 2. We live in suburban New York with 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a snake. Our home is over 100 years old and in the middle of a full makeover. One day we will have paint on the drywall, a ceiling in our bed room and fresh siding to match the new roof we need. The kids rooms are 95% finished so life is not all un-taped drywall.

Deeper down I am an almost 39 year old woman living with chronic depression and ADD. I have spent years in therapy trying to sort out my life to no real change. I have recently started attending a 12 step program which I think may be the answer. With the help of that group and journaling on this blog I hope find some peace, a deeper sense of self, and maybe even begin to love myself.

Most days I feel useless, fat, ugly, sad, worthless, oh and did I say FAT... I am such a ball of laughs! But as I enter step 3 I pray that "Letting go and Letting God" will provide the support I need to change my life.

That good for an introduction? Night all!

1/40 Days of Blogging

I am not sure what I was thinking, setting up this "Meme", "Blog Carnival", Mr. Linky deal. I am no major blogger, I have no followers. But something spoke to me to do this... I guess we shall see if it me alone on this quest for personal growth or if other bloggers will be hearing the call.

Tomorrow I will be introducing myself, putting my self out there for you all to see. Then over the next few days I plan to get deeper into what is going on in my world. I will be doing "McMama's "Not Me! Monday's" and "Wordless Wednesday's" as well as keeping up with my crafting blog.

It is ambitious I know, but doable. I need to findmyself and get back to a place where I feel peace and wholeness.

Mr. Linky!

I made a Button!

I am soooo proud of myself! I made a button for the "40 Days of Blogging, Lent 2009" carnival. It may take a day for me to post the code for you, but I love how it came out.

What fun! I hope some of you... if there is anyone out there... will join in and blog with me.

40 Days of Blogging, Lent 2009

To get back in the swing of my blog, I am "hosting" a carnival I am calling "40 Days of Blogging, Lent 2009" in honor of this magical season. I am not Catholic nor am I very religious, but I have a deep respect for the concept of Lent and what it represents... a time of reflection, prayer and change.

I will post more tomorrow.

too long...

well, it has been a long time has it not...

perfectionism set in...

hard to write...

will be better...

miss my blog...

nite